Special Agent PTLies is a bad bad grrrl…..

So there I was, poolside with Paolo and Benito, drinking my apple ‘tini, when I realized that I needed a new pedi. Stretched out on the chaise, I happened to catch sight of my peeling toenail polish (when I took a break from staring at Paolo of course).

 So I decided to take the afternoon off, lock up the office, and go for a pedicure. I figured Tracy’s latest antics could wait – besides, how many more crimes could she commit in one afternoon? I needed a little vacation anyway….

I hopped in my Spyder and took off, hoping to get to the spa before my favorite nail tech got booked up. I may have been speeding just a teensy bit; I’m not certain, but I’m sure that my martini had nothing to do with it.

Halfway to the spa, I heard the sirens. I’m not sure how long the cop was following me, since I was blasting my new favorite song so loud, I could barely hear myself singing along. I pulled over, and when the officer came up to my window, I was hit with this:

“Ma’am, do you know how fast you were going?” he said, pausing as I turned down the music.

“Excuse me? Where on earth did you get that shirt?” I stared at him with my mouth open, and he just smiled.

“You’ve been a naughty girl. It’s a good thing I’m one of your biggest fans, otherwise I might have to write you a ticket…”

His shades were so dark I couldn’t see his eyes, but there was no mistaking that tone. He knew I was a lightweight; one apple ‘tini was enough to make me forget I wasn’t wearing any shoes. His gaze trailed down my legs and he stared at my bare feet pointedly.

I tried to wink at him, hoping that only one of my eyes fluttered. “Eh….I’m not as bad as Tracy, am I?”

 He shrugged, and placed both hands on my car door, leaning in tight until I could smell the Curve. I was starting to feel just a little dizzy…

“Depends on what you want your punishment to be. You want a fine? Or something…rougher? I’ve got some handcuffs with PTLies engraved on them, if you want to check them out later. Had ‘em made specially for you.”

“Yeah sure,” I squeaked. “You got a name?”

“Sven. Call me after the other guys go home. I’m on duty late tonight.”

And with that he left, sidling back toward his cruiser without a backward glance. I felt flush, and wished that I’d brought Paolo and his banana leaf along for the ride. In heat like this, what’s a girl to do?

 I decided to add a wax while I was at the spa.

Thanks Savant. We broke a record.

Thanks to the info served up by Savant, we broke our all-time record for traffic yesterday.

Way to go, Savant!

Hi

Hello readers. I’m “Savant” and just wanted to say hello.

I’m a person of few words so my posts will be short and sweet with juicy little tidbits for you to chew on and ponder.

Here comes one now……….

New Look. New Author.

We’re sprucing things up here at ptlies. We’ve been working long hours in our virtual office this weekend. We think you’ll like our new look when we’re completely done. For now, it is lighter and brighter than before, but stay tuned.

We have been busy reading resumes as well because we needed another author here to help with the workload.

Please welcome Savant, our newest author.

I think you’ll find their contributions…well….mighty interesting.

Our Purpose

We’ve written on this before, but I thought we should clarify it again just so people can stop hounding us!

Yes, sometimes we post things that are “Old News” to the community that has seen Tracy Coenen in action this past year.

We are posting all of Tracy’s lies, potential crimes, and unethical and obscene behavior on this site for a few reasons, which are as follows:

1. So that new people to the PinkTruth community might find out what she’s like before they get hurt, meaning BEFORE they tell Tracy their real-life identity. (In case they actually value their privacy, and don’t want her to run a background check on them.)

2. So that people considering hiring Tracy Coenen can see how unprofessional and horrendous she has treated people.

3. To get indexed by Google. We want to be easy reference guide to those wanting to do a little “background checking” into Ms. Coenen.

So in the future, if you think we are wrong about something we post, by all means say so in the comments. No censoring here. And if you don’t like our approach, then by all means, start your own blog about Tracy. We’ll give you a link.

Special Agent PTLies Meets the Bartender

Yesterday when I was at the pool, after a long siesta with Paolo the Pool Boy fanning me with his banana leaf (and singing softly to me with that sexy accent, although I swear he was singing “Rico Suave” which was a little bit odd, but who cares right?), I got incredibly thirsty.

I was thinking about hightailing it back to the virtual office, to find out if Mike the Maintainance Man had left me any of his Stoli in the mini-fridge, when out of nowhere came a strong hand (I do love strong hands) holding a silver tray bearing an…. apple martini.

Perfect! I thought. Just what the doctor ordered! As my eyes trailed up the bartender’s arm, I was hit in the face with this:

 ”Hello.” He chuckled.

I gaped.

“I’m Benito the Bartender.”

“Benito?” I breathed, “Where on earth did you get that shirt?”

Benito only smiled and placed the martini in my hand. Then he turned and sauntered back to the bar (the bar! How had I missed that? I must have been too focused on Paolo!) And I heard him say over his shoulder,

“We’re all devoted fans, Mi Amor. Let me know if you need anything else…..”

Paolo had to fan me a little bit harder with his banana leaf, as I contemplated all the new men in my life!

And You Thought Mike Was Hot!

It’s been a hot summer here.

There’s nothing like hanging out at the pool to cool off and that’s just what I did Friday afternoon.

There’s a beautiful pool within walking distance from my virtual office, so I took the afternoon off to enjoy it.

I know. Whoopie!

Just hang on a minute.

So there I was, sitting in the shade and reading. Minding my own business.

Suddenly I hear “May I be of service?”

I looked up and found myself staring at this:

Whoa! What was this?!

“Excuse me?” I said, trying not to drool.

“I am Paolo the Pool Boy.” he said. “Would you like a towel or some sunscreen for your shoulders?”

I just couldn’t believe my eyes! I had to know.

“Paolo!” I said. “Where’d you get that shirt?”

Paolo chuckled and his six pack quivered ever so slightly.

He handed me two towels and sauntered away, leaving me sitting there with my mouth open.

Paolo…

Rearrange the letters and you get… “A Pool.”

How perfect. How absolutely perfect.

I’m heading back there this afternoon.

I need to cool by a pool with Paolo.

It’s just so hot here.

Something Fun For Your Weekend

Mike the Maintenance Man is Upset

I hate to see a grown man cry.

(Okay…I think it’s sexy.)

But when it’s Mike the Maintenance Man, it just breaks my heart.

I was out in my virtual hallway, perusing the choices in the virtual snack machine, when I heard someone approaching.

It was Mike.

He wanted to tell me how flattered he was to have his picture on the site. He loved the women lusting over him (of course).

Then he started to choke up. “My shirt is falling to pieces” he said.

“What? Your PTlies shirt?” I asked.

“Yes” replied Mike. “You know, I love that shirt because I love this site. I didn’t want to say anything at first, but when I got it I noticed that it was a little thin. The quality just isn’t very good. “

Well, I had noticed this when Mike showed up in my virtual office that day. If you look at his picture again, you’ll notice it too. The shirt is pretty see through, though I know you ladies didn’t mind.

Look again, and you’ll notice the crappy quality of the screen print. See that thick rectangle underneath the print? Terrible.

I told Mike this and he nodded in agreement. Then, wiping away a tear he said “When I stuck out my chest to show off my shirt to the guys in the Maintenance department, that screen printing cracked.”

Sheesh!

This is the shirt we made in our CafePress store. Real top-notch quality, eh?

Now we’re really glad that CafePress jerked our shirts. There is no way we want to put our name on something of such crappy quality. What a rip off.

Maybe the Pink Truth site doesn’t mind their supporters paying a premium price for such sub-standard goods, but we do.

Got It Just In the Nick of Time

I was sitting in my leather chair in my virtual office yesterday and suddenly the door swung open and I found myself staring straight at this:

Holy cow!

The first thing I noticed was the chest hair. Then my eyes moved downward and I saw the shirt!

It was Mike the Maintenance Man in a ptlies shirt!

How could this be, when Cafe Press slapped our hands and took them out of our store?

Well, Mike’s quick, that’s how.

He saw those shirts and he just had to have one, so he ordered one up the first day we made them. Now he’s wearing it around here nearly every day.

That Mike…

He’s crazy!